1. Elijah Wood has to be a hobbit in every movie he makes for the rest of his life.
2. Keannu Reeves has to do at least one scene per movie as Ted from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.
3. Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek have to appear together in a new movie at least once per month, where they make out for at least 5 minutes.
4. Samuel L. Jackson must star in every movie from here on in until he retires.
5. Ben Affleck must die within the first 5 minutes of every movie he ever makes. In every third movie, this death must come from a devastating boot to the groin area.
6. Steven Speilberg has to direct a Jurassic Park sequel every 2 years, minimum, and like it.
7. Superman must accidentally eat a bowl of Kryptonite soup and either develop an extreme case of irritable bowel syndrome, or grow massive breasts.
8. Hugh Jackman must legally change his name to Huge "Ass" Ackman, and also have plastic surgery to give him Wolverine sideburns forever.
9. Britney Spears must name her baby Shithead (the redneck equivalent of Apple) - credit to Bill Maher for this one
10. Morgan Freeman must always play God, or the President, or the President of the God.
11. Tom Hanks must act every movie like he's Forrest Gump, and must name his next child Lieutenant Dan.
12. No more commercials at the theatre. This will be replaced a 5 minute clip of Carmen Electra playfully running (in slow motion) in a gentle rain, wearing only white undergarments.
13. Zakk Wylde must be featured on every movie soundtrack from here to the end of time.
14. No more rappers in movies.
15. Bruce Willis must change the name of his final Die Hard film to "Die Hard: Die Already".
That's all for now. If you have any new laws you'd like to see in the movies, please let me know and I'll post 'em for ya.
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