AVP: Requiem - DVD Review

While AVP: Requiem isn't going to make the hall of fame of action/horror flicks, I don't think the low ratings others have given it are reasonably accurate (watch Stealth if you really want to feel cheated out of 2 hours you'll never get back)

AVP: Requiem's major flaw is that the lighting is awful. If it was any darker, it could have been a radio show. I mean, I understand the use of low lighting to set a mood. But there's a difference between that and making the audience strain and rub their eyes for two hours trying to see the damn thing.

Also, in fairness to fans of the respective franchises, I can see why they feel cheated out on the storyline. This, in my humble opinion, could have been greatly improved with one simple guideline. And that is, more Predator!!

However, in response to the comment that the human characters were super forgettable, I'd say they were all, in fact, quite memorable. Especially whozit's and whats her face.

Seriously though, for those who are hung up on the lack of plot. I do agree with you, but ulimately we're talking about deathly hostile aliens and predators from outer space. How much story do you need to be able to let this one rip?

On the plus side they don't make you wait half an hour before the beatings begin (in fact, it might be the fastest spearing ever in a film) and it's fun to see all the different places the aliens get around to as they spawn. The soundtrack is good too. Think Terminator 2's slightly less angry little brother.

In closing, if anyone looks at the cover of this DVD and thinks it could possibly be a raging battle between mortal enemies in a fight to the death, but still somehow maintains itself as a riveting drama that pulls at your heart strings, finally taking you to a higher level of consciousness... Well, then you kinda deserve to be disappointed.

I give this film 3 slobbering aliens out of 5.

Movie Review - Sunshine (2007)

I was waiting to see this movie for some time. I finally received it from Zip.ca and all one can say is... wow (but not in a good way). The phrase breath-takingly shitty come to mind, but even that doesn't do it proper justice.

I'm assuming a lion's share of the positive reviews this film received are for director Danny Boyle, which I can see as I am a fan also. However, every director has his abysmal, flaming disasters and this one truly is Danny Boyle's.

Sunshine fails, and spectacularly so, on every level. I knew the story would necessarily have to stretch what we know about science and technology to insane proportions, so I made a conscious decision before watching the film to prepare for that. Nothing could have prepared me for the glowing disco ball of crap I was about to see.

While the cast itself isn't bad (at least one has to believe the screenplay was that awful) the story is so unbelievable it's laughable. The concept is truly funny and the movie takes itself so seriously it's actually kind of enjoyable in the sense that it's amusing to make fun of it.

I know it's boring to always pick out story holes and flaws in movies, but I defy anyone to get even quarter way through this little gem without uttering something out loud. Topic: a bunch of twenty year old (apparantly seasoned and specialist) astronauts have been put in charge of 'the future of mankind' by flying a space ship towards the sun and shooting off a made in the USA nuclear missle to regenerate it... discuss... xD

Above all that, the film is laboriously slow and takes forever to unravel. Just when you're hoping for the credits to roll, a twist of inane proportions begins. It seems like a 5 hour movie by the time you're done with it.

Considering the big budget, Sunshine is almost as galactically crappy as Stealth. Almost.

I reserve the 1 star rating for the absolute bottom of the barrel films that make me wish I hadn't wasted my time. With the exception of a few visually stunning scenes, Sunshine is in my humble opinion one giant blazing infernal ball of glorious failure.